I created The First Fire after working closely with men for over 11 years.

I held space for them, listened to their stories and tried my best to help with their pain. My access point was always their bodies- I could create deep trust with my touch. They felt safe and started opening up as they recognised my intentions beyond words.


Many men are too ashamed to talk about their pain and ask for help. They don't want to be a ''burden''. They feel they must always hold it together.

When they are finally held in a safe space, something cracks open and they begin to share things they have carried alone for years

Every time it happens I witness a profound relief.

''Finally, somebody knows, somebody sees me and my pain.
Somebody knows my secrets and my shame.''

Underneath the shame, the secrecy, the compulsions, and self-sabotage, there is usually a human being who is simply trying to protect something




I felt compassion and truly cared about them.


At the same time, in my personal life I was severely hurt by men.
When I was younger, like many other girls and women I experienced numerous violations from men that left me traumatised. But these experiences pushed me to start my ongoing healing journey.

Then, I had my first soul-crushing disappointment when the father of my first daughter kept choosing to escape all responsibilities. Eventually, I had to make the painful decision to leave, letting go of the family life I had hoped for. The grief was profound.
Then I became a mother once more, trusting that maybe this time my children and I would be loved, cherished and honoured.
Instead, I found myself living among lies, secrecy and betrayals throughout my relationship, pregnancy and after birth.

Yet even through that pain, I could see more than the hurt these men caused. I saw their wounds, their fear, and the parts of themselves they had never faced.

Understanding them did not make their choices acceptable. But it deepened a question I had already been carrying through my work:

Who is guiding men into maturity? Who is helping them understand what it means to carry responsibility, live by their values and be accountable for the impact they have on others?

Many men move through the world without a meaningful initiation into manhood. There is often no clear moment that requires them to pause, look honestly at themselves and consciously choose the man they want to become.

The messages around them can be painfully confused.

A man who treats women with respect can be mocked as a “simp”, while a man who uses and objectifies women can be praised as an “alpha”.

I want to see us honour men for their integrity, emotional maturity, courage to tell the truth, to keep their word and care deeply.

Through everything, my desire to help men remained.

It would be easy to simply turn away from men. But this is not my path.
I love men.
I truly believe we need men.
Men are so valuable in this world, just as women are.
We are not enemies.

I chose to turn my hurt into art.

To alchemise it into something that could help both men and women.

I do not want to see men falling.
I want to see them rising, reclaiming their power and directing it towards something worthy.

I want to see men who can love honestly, act with care and take responsibility when they cause harm.

I have two daughters.

If I can contribute to a world where they are met with greater honesty, care and respect, I must try.

And it starts with me and you.

Let me guide you.
My deepest intention is to help you live in a way you can be truly proud of.

The world needs you.